apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
