We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
