Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
