"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
