I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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