I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize