we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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