So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
