I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
