Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
