An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
