I just made out with a guy for $7.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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