Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
