So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
