im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
