when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize