Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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