you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
