I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Welp...herpes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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