I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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