bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
