Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
