well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
as a side note pls kill me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
