After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
