when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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