why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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