I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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