Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
