Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
