i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
