I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize