i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
