i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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