I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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