Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
