watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
