Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
