More tranny stories later!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
