You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
