Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
