how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
