After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
