You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
