fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
