Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
