She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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