She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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