he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize