the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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