I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize