I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
