Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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