you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
