so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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