Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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