He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
