Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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