I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
