Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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