You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he fucked my hip out of place.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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