My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
