I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
