The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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